By Hannah Sheppard
Edited by Michael Pritchard
I had some friends from Australia come and spend a couple of days with me last week. While they were here, they told me about how entertained they were by Japanese candy. I mentioned that I’d always wanted to try one of those kits where you make little gummy hamburgers or pizza or whatever. When they told me they’d picked up a sushi kit in Tokyo, I was like YASSSSSS WE HAVE TO TRY THIS!!!! So, we did.
It was actually kind of fun making our tiny sushi. We mixed the white powder with water and got something that was just… white matter vaguely resembling rice. We filled the little dropper with orange stuff, dropped that orange stuff in water, and watched it somehow become tiny salmon roe. It was pretty cool, but I couldn’t help wondering how many artificial colours and flavours were in this thing.
After we’d mixed all the ingredients, it was time to make the sushi itself. We squished the white fluffy stuff into balls and carefully topped them with salmon, tuna and egg. Nobody was quite willing to mix up the soy sauce because it smelled really weird. Ultimately, our sushi just looked like a poor imitation of the ones on the box, but whatever, they were still kind of cute! Surely they must taste okay, too?
Nope. They were disgusting. Oh my God. And the worst thing was, it all tasted like grape: the rice, the seaweed, the tuna, the egg. Even the imitation candy soy sauce tasted like grapes and salt. It was so weird. Why does the mini sushi taste like grape? Like, who raised their hand at the Gummy Candy Company and said, “Hey, you know what? I think the most appropriate flavour for candy sushi is grape.” Because they definitely made the wrong decision.
I wish I’d never bothered making gummy candy sushi. Even though my expectations were low, I couldn’t help but be disappointed. Sigh.
Do you have any crazy, interesting, or just plain funny stories from your time in
Japan? Send them our way at firstname.lastname@example.org!