By Jacqueline Laibinis
Column Editor: Michael Pritchard
Nothing can effectively prepare you for your first erection. I still find myself blushing when I think about it.
It was a day, like any other day. Winter was beginning to sink in and I was already dreaming of a warm vacation. Class had just ended when a student bravely approached me.
“Miss-u Jack-u-reen, do you know Shinzo Abe?”
I thought for a moment, trying to place a face with the name. “Yes, I believe I do.” Truly, I did not have a single clue.
The student, bubbling with excitement, pressed on: “Really?! Do you know he won the erection?”
Sometimes I forget why it is that I hate trash days.
Groggy with sleep, I’ll wake up and do my morning rituals. Yoga, breakfast, shower, prep for work. If I’m lucky, a cup of coffee. Then I’ll remember I’ve got to take out the trash.
Like Charon ready at the banks of the river Styx, he’s perched on top of the trash bin. I don’t see him until the moment I open the iron grates. With a devilish caw and a beady eye staring at my trash, he advances. Screaming, I run down the street, trash bag still in hand.
It was March 12, 2011 – the day after the earthquake. With both trains and buses not running, I was in a taxi from Tokyo station to Narita Airport, trying to make it to my cousin’s wedding.
With bumper to bumper traffic, I persisted to stay optimistic – only allowing myself to cry once every hour. Four hours had passed by. I could only watch as the meter ticked higher and higher.
By the time my flight time passed, the driver turned around in his seat to say:
“Because this is a special day, once it goes over 30,000 yen I’ll turn off the meter.”
Do you have any crazy, interesting, or just plain funny stories from your time in
Japan? Send them our way at firstname.lastname@example.org!